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Secondary style of loving that is selfless and based on giving to others, not receiving rewards or returns from them. Blend of eros and storage. |
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Listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker. |
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Clearly and nonjudgmentally stating what we feel, need or want. Not synonymous with aggression which involves putting our needs above others at their cost. |
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Cognitive Labeling View of Emotions |
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Theory that claims that what we feel is shaped by how we label physiological responses. |
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Decision to remain with a relationship, one of three dimension of enduring romantic relationships, has more impact on relationship continuity than does love alone. |
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Committed Romantic Relationships |
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Voluntary relationships between unique individuals who assume they will be primary and continuing parts of each other's life. |
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Three dimensions to committed romantic relationships are.... |
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intimacy, passion, and commitmentare three dimension to ______ _____ relationships. |
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Building a solution through negotiation and acceptance of parts of proposals for resolution. |
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Usually present in the later stages of constructive conflict. |
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Counterfeit Emotional Language |
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Communication that seems to express feeling but doesn't actually describe what a person is feeling. |
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Management of inner feelings. |
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Perceiving personal attacks, criticisms, or hostile undertones in communication when none are intended. |
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Ability to recognize which feelings are appropriate in which situations and the skill to communicate those feelings effectively. |
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Process by which proximity breeds ill will. |
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Fariness, based on the perception that both partners invest roughly equally in a relationship and benift similarly from their investments. |
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a primary influence on satisfaction with relationships. |
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Powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically, one of the three primary styles of loving. |
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Includes feelings of closness, connection, and tenderness between lovers. One of three dimensions of committed romantic relationships. |
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One of three primary styles of love. This style is playful love in which the goal is not commitment but to have fun at love as a game or a series of challenges and maneuvers. |
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One of three secondary styles of loving made up of eros and ludus. Passionate, sometimes obsessive love that includes emotional extremes. |
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One of three secondary styles of loving made up of eros and ludus. This sometimes obsessive love includes emotional extremes. |
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Process of creating a physical environment that is comfortable and reflects one's values, experiences, and tastes. Physical environment is part of relational culture, which is the nucleus of intimacy. |
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Secondary style of loving that is practical in nature, a blend of storge and ludus. |
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Psychological responsibility |
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Responsibility to remember, plan, and coordiante domestic work and child care. In general women assume this role even if both partners share in the actual tasks. |
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Private world of rules, understandings, and patterns of acting and interpreting, that partners create to give meaning to their relationship, this is the nucleus of inimacy. |
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Comfortable, friendly kind of love, oftern likened to friendship. One of theree primary styles of loving. |
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1 of 4 ways to respond to conflict; leave conflict either spychologically or physically, this is active and generally destructive. |
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1 of 4 ways to respond to conflict; leave conflict either spychologically or physically, this is active and generally destructive. |
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Friends who remain close, regardless of distance and changes in people's lives. |
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Friends who are temporary and with whom intmacy is not sustained when on of the friends moves or changes occur. |
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nteraction in which the real conflicts are hidden or denied and a counterfeit excuse is created for arguments or put-downs. |
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Granting forgiveness or putting aside personal needs when it is not required or expected, reflects generosity of sprit |
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Relationship stresses that frow out of people and their interactions. |
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Exist when people who depend on each other express different views, intrests, or goals an perceive their differences as incompatible or as opposed by the other. |
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Unproductive form of conflict communication in which everything except the kitchen sink is thrown into the argument |
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Orientation toward conflict that assumes nobody can win and everyone loses from engaging in conflict. |
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1 of 4 ways to respond to conflict; consist of silent allegiance to a relatioship and a person when conflict exist. Passive and tends to be constructive. |
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1 of 4 wyas to respond to conflict; to deny or minimize problems, passive and tends to be destructive. |
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Attacking while denying doing so, a means of covertly expressing conflict, anger or both. |
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Guidlines that friends or partners have for their relationships. usually tacit, not explicit understandings. |
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1 of 4 responses to conflict; involves communicating about differences, tensions, and disagreements; is active and can be construcive for people and relationships. |
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Orientation toward confict that assumes one peron wins at the expense of another person whenever conflict arises. |
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Orientation toward conflict that assumes everone can win, or benefit, from engaging in conflict and that it is possibele to generate resolutions that satisfy everyone. |
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Processes that are shaped by physiology, perceptions, social experience, and language. |
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Effort invested to make ourselfves feel what our culture defines as appropriate and to not feel what our culture defines as inappropriate in particular situations. |
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Assumption that our culture and its norms are the only right ones, reflects certainty which tends to create defensive communication climates. |
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Culturally based guidelines that tell us what we have a right to feel or are expected to feel in specific situations |
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Culturally based guidelines that define the emotional meaning of situations and events. |
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Interactive view of emotions |
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Theory that social rules and understanding shape what people feel and how they do or don't express feelings. |
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Overall feelings, or emotional mood of a relationship. |
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Something put into a relationship that cannot be recovered should the relationship end, more than rewards and love, increases commitment. |
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Complex process that consist of being minful, hearing, selecting and organizing information, interpreting communication, responding, and remembering. |
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Listening for information |
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One of three goals of listening, focuses on gaining and evaluating ideas, facts, opinions, reasons and so forth. |
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One of three goals of listening, movtivated by a desire to enjoy rather than to gain info or support others. |
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Listening to support others |
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One of three goals of listening, focuses more on the relationship level of meaning than on the content level, aims to understand and respond to others in ways that affirm them. |
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Listening only to the content level of meaning and ignoring the relationship level of meaning. |
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Concept from Zen Buddhism that refers to being fully present in the moment, the first step of listening and the foundation for all others. |
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Communication that gently invites another person to elaborate by expressing intrest in hearing more. |
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Continuously focusing communication on ourselves instad of on the person who is talking. |
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Organismic view of emotions |
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Theory that external phenomena cause physiological changes that lead us to experience emotions, also called James-Lange view of emotions. |
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Method of clarifying anothers meaning by reflecting our interpretations of their communication back to them. |
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perceptual view of emotions |
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Theory that claims that subjective perceptions shape what external phenomena mean and what emotions we associate with external phenomena, aka apprasial theory |
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rational-emotive approach to feelings |
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Using rational thingking to clallenge and change debilitating emotions that undermine self-concept and self exteem. |
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Opposing forces, or tensions, that are normal parts of all relationships. |
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Three relational dialects are.... |
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autonomy and intimacy, novelty and routine, and openness and closedness. |
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Symbolizing your interest in what is being said with observable feedback to speakers during the process of interaction. This is the fifth element of listening. |
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Controlling outward expressiong of inner feelings. |
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Entails two factors; belief in anothers reliability, and emotional reliance on another to protect us and care about us. |
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Believing that private info about us is safe with another |
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