Name 6 Relationship Development Theories

1. Uncertainty Reduction Theory (learning to trust)
2. Social Penetration Theory (depth & Breadth of disclosure)
3. Attraction Theory
4. Social Exchange Theory (P&L)
5. Comparison Level Theory
6. Equity Theory

What is the basic idea behind the Uncertainty Reduction theory?

You are learning to trust your partner

The theory that says that the longer you know someone, the more that is disclosed is what?

Social Penetration Theory

Name the three factors of the Attraction Theory

1. Attraction
2. Proximity
3. Similarity

This type of attraction is the 1st thing we have. It is necessary & subjective and can be positive or negative.

Physical Attraction

The Proximity Theory is related to what hypothesis?

EXPOSURE HYPOTHESIS

The more you are around someone, the more likely you are that you will become attracted to them.

Which factor says that we are drawn to people who are  like us?

Similarity

Explain the Matching Hypothesis

It is related to Attraction Theory.

The matching theory says that we are attracted to people we perceive to be at the same attractiveness level as us.  It is tied to self-esteem, self value & self worth.  This explains couples who appear not to match in physical appearance.

List the top 6 affinity seeking strategies

1. Help someone else.

2. Lead (Take charge)

3. Include (the other person in social circle)

4. Open up (disclose)

5. Appear interesting,attractive,independent

6. Exposure (Be around other person) 

What theory is similar to a P&L?

Social Exchange Theory

Explain Social Exchange Theory

Rewards - Cost = Profit

You should get out more than you put in.

What is the difference between Comparison Level and Social Exchange Theory

Comparison Level looks at what you think you should be getting versus what you are actually getting out of the relationship.

What is meant by comparison to alternatives?

You are looking at who you are in a relationship with versus who you think you could get.  Often comes into play when you are undergoing change.

Looking at whether you are getting back what you put into the relationship describes what theory?

Equity Theory

When does a relationship enter the maintenance phase?

From the beginning.  Like preventative maintenance on your car.

List 6 ways to maintain your relationship

1. Pro-social - Be nice

2.  Communicate when you don't have to.

3. Listen & disclose (social penetration)

4. Assure - compliments

5. Share joint activities

6. Focus on self improvement (ongoing)

Explain the Rules Theory

List and explain the 3 frames of attractiveness

1. Physical

2. Social (can you take them out in public?)

3. Task (can they help you do something you cannot do yourself?)

List 6 reasons why we maintain relationships

(even bad ones)

1. emotional attachment

2. convenience (laziness)

3. kids

4. fear (financial, being alone)

5. commitment

6. inertia (comfortable)

7 Causes of Relationship Deterioration

1. Differing beliefs - Rules-Roles-Expectations

2. Excessive intimacy claims (possessiveness)

3. Third Party relationships (friend, relative)

4. Relationship changes (grow apart)

5. Financial Problems - bigger deal for men

6. Work related problems

7. Sex-related (passion)

Explain Passion

Joy + Surprise = Passion

Reflects level of knowledge & commitment

List patterns of deterioration

1. Withdrawal (of communication)

2. Decline in self-disclosure

3. Deception

4. Increase in negative messaging (definite sign)

5 Things to do following a breakup

1. Take time out (ask)

2. Bolster self esteem

3. Remove uncomfortable symbols

4. Seek positive, nourishing support

5. Identify negative patterns

Then she found Me

CURRENCY

Currency: Change to restroom attendant

Disclosure between mom and daughter

Boyfriend - helped investigate Bette Midler in exch for relationship points

Woman - traded help with kids in exchange for time

Other Observations from the Movie

We saw relationship deterioration as the man began withholding information/one-word answers to wife. In addition, he began to lie.

The woman, in both her marriage and relationship, found her partner due to proximity.  Lack of effective rule-making in both relationships caused intermittent breakdown.  However, later in the movie, the clear deal-breaker was lying.